"I am me." This is a statement that separates me from you and me from everyone else. We are all different and I feel that I am a true individual. To define who I am I will tell you what I am and what I am not. I am not going to sugarcoat things but instead be very forthcoming and to the point about me and my views.

I am a creative, social, male. I am intelligent and bright, but not to be confused with book smart. I am a musician, a drummer to be more specific. I am hard working and dedicated to anything I involve myself with. I am a very active member of the laboring class, in order to feed my life I must feed the toll it places, i.e. money, as well as to expand my knowledge. I am a quick learner, but I learn best when involved with the learning process physically or visually. I procrastinate a lot, and am easily bored with subjects that I do not care for. I do not like having to listen to a teacher talk about a subject with no meaning but to test me on it; I want to be taught something/to learn something that will have meaning in my life. I enjoy watching movies with intelligence and/or a meaning. I also enjoy listening or conversng with someone that leads to an intelligent thought or intelligent conversation. I like to observe life in all its forms and how it lives. I am outgoing, trustworthy, loyal, emotional, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. I am a romantic who strives for companionship in my friends, family, and in my lover. I can love and be loved. I am a redneck and live with chickens, but have a computer and satellite TV. I have conservative views yet value traditional views and beliefs. I am agnostic. I can't stand bad drivers; it's a pet-peeve of mine. I grow from my experiences and learn from them as well.

I am not a materialistic person. I am not the highest ranked student in my school, or an honors student. I'm not gifted with photographic memory, or am I very book smart. I don't take all the easy classes just so my GPA and class ranking look good, I take all the hard classes. I'm not everyone's hero or the most popular guy in school, but I also don't need to be. I'm not invited to "parties", nor do I drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm not a fake, nor am I a mean, backstabbing, or cruel person. I'm not religious. I like being respected as an adult with the mind of an adult and the maturity of an adult. I don't like being talked to like I'm my 5 year old cousin. I don't take shortcuts in my life, unless of course if I'm driving cause it saves on gas money. But most importantly I'm not someone else.

These lists are no where near being complete for there are so many categories, so many places, items, people that I have not yet seen or encountered, so many things I have yet to do. My life is not over yet and I as a whole being am not yet complete.

(ps. )

hey all i know its been a while sence i last put something decently meaning full in here...so here goes....

life is good a litle stressed with all the things going on trying to juggle all my things and work and keeping me and nikki together...speaking of that we are fabulose and have spent alot of time together over the vacasion we chilled for cristmas dinner after her parents did their family's presentsi went and got her and we spent the evening together and watched movies. monday we spent together as well...we went to see her friend mark up in the manor and he seems to be a good kid and i really liked the pocet dog he had and me and nikki both want one...we saw kaitlyn at the mall and wandered around for a little...we saw king kong and it was a really good movie and nikki cried at the end...it was really powerfull i just wasn't going to cry over a movie...then we went back to my place ad chilled for the evening...teusday was work...wendsday was a chil at home day...thursday was sapossed to be work but i had to call in due to me being sick soi was at home and had dinner with the family and van and donna for dad's bday today, seeing as i'm not going to be home all day....so today, i'm going to brunch  with nikki and her parents at a chinese resturant in westerly, were getting dim sum wich is like a chinese brunch with tea, it sounds really good and it will also give her parents time to get to know me a person who has so much to do with their daughter and the really dont know me at all and i really dont know them seeing as she always comes over to my house to hang out and i very rarly have a chance to sit and talk with them...so i hope to have fun today, and then i go to work all sorts of druged up...for newyears eve i'm sleaping over at james' and the girls are coming down for a while it should be alot of fun....well here's an entry i would wait to see another one around the next vacasion i have...later all

"Dirty Dictionary"

Angry Dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girls mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

Arabian Goggles

A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N' Tackle

This one was used by the sailors from the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely nourished. Gone fishin'!

Ballsacking

Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bear Claw

A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain

The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick

This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy

You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

The Bronco

You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Baggin It

Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Brown Necktie

You're about half-way through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski

When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle

The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie stylin' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face

When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

The Canine Special

Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet Cleaner

While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

The Chili Dog

When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza

Happily discovering hemroids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Cleveland Steamer

The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

Cock-Stuffing

Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually reem out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your uretha. Wow!

Cold Lunch

The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.

The Concoction

First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarden again.

The Compton Gangbang

You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)

Cop's Delight

The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spooing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

The Corkscrew

Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.

Corn

Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University, comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happliy eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"

Couch Bombing

When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy it dinner first

Coyote

This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster

A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch

The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

Daisy Chain

Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.

Davey Crockett

A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.

Dirty Sanchez

A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Dirty Swirly

While banging a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.

Dog In A Bathtub

This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

Duct Tape Trick

Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.

Dutch Oven

Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).

Dutch Treat

The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.

DVDA

The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.

The Electric Chair

Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile disfunction after performed.

Felching

A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail.

The Fish Eye

From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion signaling that she has been there and done that.

Fish-Hook

When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

The Fire Island

This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.

Flaming Amazon

This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flooding The Cave

Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.

The Flying Camel

A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

The Flying Dutchman

This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side-effects.

The Fountain Of You

While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed

Furr Ball

You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

Gobstopper

With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the arsehole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.

Golden Shower

Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.

Greek

The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. e.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the greek salad

Ham And Cheese Sandwich

Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.

Hershey Highway

When pluggin your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.

High Dive

The skill of pulling your johnson all the way out of your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.

The Hindenburg

When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your mantool.

Hogging

While intoxicated, high, or just plain deperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.

Hole In One

The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.

Hotdog In A Hallway

When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kinda like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.

Hot Karl

The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.

Hot Karl Candy Cane

A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.

Hot Lunch

The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.

Hummer

The well known added variation to a blow job in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

The Hunter Gatherer

You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn

While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an indian burn.

The Jedi Mind Trick

When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".

The Jelly Donut

Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.

The Juanita Special Bean Dip

While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.

Kennebunkport Surprise

The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.

Kick-Fucking

The act of recieving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.

The Landshark

The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to JAWS. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.

The Lorena Bobbit

Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core boodie sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)

The Menthol

The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasureable, tingly feeling on your cock.

The Mellon Dive

Headbutting a woman's big fat tities. Always lots of fun.

Monkey Wrench

When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.

Monroe Transfer

When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.

The Moped

A chick thats a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.

Morking

Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)

Moses

A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.

The Motorboat

While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.

Muff Teaser

Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bint again.

The Mung

Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.

Mushy Biscuit

This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.

New Jersey Meat-Hook

The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.

New York Style Taco

Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.

The Nixon

A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.

Oyster

A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.

Pasadena Mudslide

This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blow job. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)

Pattycake

While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.

Paying The Rent

A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the balk of her calves and bangs ferociously.

Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich

Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)

Pearl Necklace

Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.

The Pig Roast

While you're pluggin some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.

Pink Glove

Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

The Pirate's Treasure

While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.

Plating

Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.

The Popcorn Trick

First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?

Puerto Rican Fog Bank

While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphinctor fog directly into her nostrils.

Purple Mushroom

This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

Queef

A well known, but sometimes embarassing occurance. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.

The Ram

When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Rear Admiral

An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips

Red Wings

Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!

Resusitation

When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man andsee if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.

The Roddy Piper

When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out a'la Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.

The Rodeo

Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!

The Rose Creeper

Seductively brush a beautiful longstem red rose against your sweethearts neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obsenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.

The Rusty Trombone

This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female (aka be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.

Sandbag

Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.

The Screwnicorn

When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Seatbelt

While one fag stradles his partners cock, he recieves a blow job from the fruitcake on the bottom.

Shirley Temple

Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.

The Shocker

When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)

Shop Vac

When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.

Shrimping

The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.

Skiing

While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.

Slumpbuster

When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.

Snerd Nurgling

The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the _expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...

Snoodling

When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!".

Snowball

Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.

The Snuff

Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or raggin girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.

Stranger

Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off. Eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Stranger On The Rocks

Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.

Strangers In The Night

When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.

Stingy Nut

When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.

Sud N' Fud

When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.

Surfing

This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.

Swimmer's Ear

When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.

Tea Bag

To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kinda fucked up yoga exercise.

3-Eyed Turtle

Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.

The Tortoise

When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.

Tossing Salad

A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (i.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.) I'm never going to prison.

Tropical Wind

When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.

Tuna Melt

You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

Twisted Sister

Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.

Vegetarian Hot Lunch

A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mou

Hey guess what every one...

I got a job @ Panera Bread....YAY...i love it, it should be nice it looks like a great place to work and the people are friendly...i have to wear polos and kakies...sweet!...

WE ARE CHAMPIONS!!!!

montville took 1st with a 90.15

but we took 2nd in drums

WTGLingPoo: but you do realize that if i had to pick, i would choose to hang out with you sunday, because that satisfys me more than anything.. being stupid with my love
SPIKEDrummer369: no love isnt stupid...its wise...a chalenge to be meet by only those who truly desire it....but we can hang out at the football game as well right?
WTGLingPoo: did you make that up
SPIKEDrummer369: yea...but it sounded good right?
WTGLingPoo: it sounded like something someone in love could write
WTGLingPoo: would*
SPIKEDrummer369: yea, well i'm in love so i wrote it...lol
WTGLingPoo: lol

(it cut off my last two lines of my last post)

...but i do love nikki and will have been her loving companion for 6 months on 9-18...and i cant wait...love you babe

well....here is my two sence on most of the people who deperatly depend on these wonderfull internet networks. sorry if i affend any one but saying things on here just to get people mad or to instill arguments...its nonsence..or even to instill pity from people from california(we live in ct)....

but if anyone wonders why i havent updated recently is that i dont have the time or desire to broadcast my life to countles amounts of people, cause if people really care they can just ask...or i'll tel them.  but if ya want to talk just call me(got to ask for the number) or im me (burningsoul369)

but i

no going to talk all to much, cause i dont. but i do want to expres for all you people out there that nikki is a gift to me, my star in the dark sky, my light at the end of the tunnel and the pearl in my clam. she is everything to me and i love her so much. i love her more that anything/ any one......and i decided i'd fill out this quizy thingy that she did....

Have you ever been in love: I think tht this is the first time it is true.
With who: Nikki my love
Do they know: i tell her everychance i get

How did they find out: we'll one night a month or so ago i told her and then just the other night we expresed out deeper love for eachother.

How long have they known: probobly sence before i told her.
Do you want to marry them: we i do think she might be the one, that she might be my sweetheart, but if it comes to marrige, there is a little bt of time to wait(20's)

Have you ever kissed them: yep i do as much as i can, even when she doesn't want me to i just cant stop myself.

Would you ever make love to them: ok, let me define, i would have "sex" with her in intention of furthering ourrelation ship and the bonds between us, a.k.a. my version of making love(as opposed to casual sex)

Have they ever done anything sweet for you: yea, she has, and she knows what thing they are
Why are you filling out this survey: cause she filled it out and its the first time i got a chance, and i love her and want tevery one to know...

later, dont expect me saying anything on her for a while, never got time, catch ya later.

            kyle